my presence is a present. kiss my ass.

Due to my apocalypse-fear, I'm not really seeing a lot of humour in this whole 'Animals Dying Around the World' deal going on right now. UNTILLLLL I found this article. It's a CBC article about 80 dead pigeons being found in Quebec.
I've highlighted in red the good parts. (In case my high-brow humour is too intellectual and you can't understand why it's funny. Duh.)
Ok, so not like 30 Rock funny or anything. But at the least, hilarious word coincidences.

Mami hello, make it wiggle like jello

If I ever end up being crazy enough to squeeze a baby out, growing up to be as fucking cool as this kid is the only way my child won't disappoint me:

yellow diamonds in my ears call them lemonheads, lemonhead.

The sun is shining
The grass is green
The orange and palm trees sway.
There's never seen such a day
In Beverly Hills L.A.
But it's December the 24th
And I am longing to be up North.

get' em girl

Glitter Graphics

You with all them curves, and me without no brakes. OH.

i luv natedog.

Bring daddy loot in a hurry.

There's no video here, but I can't find the song anywhere else. This song makes me want to beat down on everyone. I've been listening to it at work all day and smashing the shit out of my keyboard while I type. OFFICE THUG 4 LYFE.



Also, I bought a poinsettia this week and it's so beautiful.
Oh, and Nicki Minaj is lezzying it up with Cassie. Best. Couple. Ever.

all she really want me to do is fuck the police.

One more month!